A Dingo's got my Barbie!!!

Hairy Dotter

The table's turned

You have all witnessed my penchant for taking your comments out of context and making fun of them producing high quality posts with your input. Well something happened today that has never happened before; a comment that I wrote was so stupid that it actually made me laugh.

So I thought to myself, "Self, you could get a post out of that!".  However I dismissed it out of hand, deciding that it was a bit light on substance and only went three lines, even though I did post this a while ago (you have no idea how hard that link was to find!). But then I thought "Hey what if I get a couple more?", to which I replied "Mate, you're a fucking genius!" So I grabbed a few more that I wrote in the last 24 hours (only the fresh stuff for you guys).

These were all written before I wrote the funny one, so it's not a setup. I'm not going to say which one made me laugh, we all have a different sense of humour. The upshot is that now you get a chance to laugh at my stupid comments (not that I'm calling any of yours stupid), you also have the opportunity to make your own smart arse comments at my expense, just like I do with you. The links are only to the blog, not the actual post  (I'm too lazy for that), but seeing as all these were written in the last day or so, if you really need to put them in context you should be able to find the posts easy enough. (Fuck! I just wrote a book and I haven't even got to the point yet!)

Ok, here we go.....

Karmyn:
This is an issue I've had with MDW for years. She keeps trying to throw out my underwear, and I keep telling her they only smell like someone has died in them.

Marnie:
Boy you've really aged. And no, they weren't my genitals, my genital tattoos are are little strange so I rarely show them to friends, people in the street are another matter.

Jenni:
How romantic, you should be honored that your husband is reminded of you when he sees two turtles screwing.  Sadly, when I'm screwing my wife, I tend to think of turtles.

Melissa:
When I read "For you, I'm saving my pennies" I thought she must have forwarded you one of my emails, the one that caused her to block me from being able to send anymore. But then I realised there was an extra 'n' and an extraneous 'e', phew!. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that email...

Heather:
Wait, so are you saying you shouldn't give kids dog poo instead of play doh? Or are you saying you just shouldn't let them eat it?  I'm confused.

Little Miss Moi:
I find that farting while shaking hands generally leaves a lasting impression.

......So guys, have at it!

On the Coast

Well here I am on the Central Coast. Not much to say (I'm sure some of you are thankful for that), but I did find some photos that are worth a look. Unfortunately the quality isn't that good because I took them with my PDA (this was before I got a digital camera), and as this isn't my computer, I don't have the software to spruce them up a bit..

The first one I Buzz and Booey and the second one is Booey....

Have a nice day.

Et tu Pioneerwoman?

Yesterday the Pioneer Woman insulted me (ha! get in line baby!) by saying, and I quote "Willowtree, you're the biggest smartass in my Comments section."

Now I could take the time to prove her wrong by demonstrating that I really am a kind, nurturing, sensitive guy, but it would be much easier to prove her right, so here goes....

Question:  Name two things Willowtree has that the Pioneer Woman doesn't.

Answer: A Pug and a Border Collie that can run.

Or to be more precise, a freshly washed Pug, and a freshly washed Border Collie that can run.

Hey come on guys, it was a joke! Please send your hate mail to someone else who really deserves it (you choose). I honestly do feel bad for the PioneerWoman right now, it's awful having a pet get injured and my thoughts go out to you Ree. I don't feel so bad about you not having a Pug though, after all you killed the last one you had. (damn! maybe I should have stopped talking)

She's done it again!

I just finished this post and while I was looking for the posts to link to, I lost everything I had written!! My fault.

Ok, I'll see if I can remember most of it.....

We all know how hard it is to keep coming up with interesting, humorous, soul searching (I don't do those) or adventurous posts. Sometimes we even borrow from others, no harm in that, we all do it. But Pioneerwoman seems intent on stealing my best stuff!! It's not that the blatant plagiarisms bother me, its just that whenever she does it, mine always look so lame.

When it happened the first time I just let it pass (well I would have let it pass, if I didn't make such a big deal about it). You all remember when she stole my idea (and a brilliant one at that) about doing a post on cooking. I mean this was one of the truly great original ideas, I even included a photograph (there would have been more photos but beans don't really do all that much over a four hour period). Now don't tell me about all the cooking blogs out there, this was my idea! If you don't already know about this or want to refresh your memory here is the post: the big cooking rip-off. (although I can't for the life of me understand why you'd want to).

It's happened again! Some time ago I wrote a truly inspirational piece about horses and foals (OK so it was a couple of pictures of a half dozen horses standing around my back fence with a baby horse, it could have been inspirational, and even exciting if I had the right material to work with).

So now Ree takes my idea, adds 600 galloping mustangs and a bunch of colts and everyone things she's just dandy, while all the time it was just another of my brilliantly original concepts. When will it end? Just so you can see I'm not making this up, here's My Post and here's Ree's Post.

Seriously, if you haven't already seen Ree's post you owe it to yourself to take a look. And thanks Ree for making the blogosphere interesting, all you guys who read OUAB and have your own blogs make things interesting too, but Ree's the only one who needs me for inspiration.

PS. Sorry about any confusion with linking back to the old OUAB, I just discovered TypePad didn't bring the pictures across, shit!