A Dingo's got my Barbie!!!

Yummmm...

If you want something to read, you might find these amusing....

Unleash the hounds.

A quand(a)ry

What do you do when you sit down at the computer, gathering your thoughts in preparation for the task of writing a post to regale your blog buddies with yet another riveting anecdote about life in the Country, or perhaps even put up another cute picture of your cute pets (that everyone seems to like so much), or better still, narrate one of your world famous serials about one of your not so famous, but totally stupid misadventures; when suddenly you realise that for the moment at least you have completely run out of things to say? Do you just try to write the longest sentence you've ever written about nothing, using as many punctuation marks and different adjectives as possible (did you notice that 'adjective' is actually a noun?) in an attempt to make it look like you actually wrote something?

Keep moving.

Ok people keep moving, there's nothing to see here.

But if you come back tomorrow, I'll probably be posting the next instalment of Willow's Big Bus ride (I haven't written it yet so I can't really promise anything). Be there or catch the train.

If you fell like leaving a comment, complete this sentence: "Never in his life had he seen a spoon used to........."

The table's turned

You have all witnessed my penchant for taking your comments out of context and making fun of them producing high quality posts with your input. Well something happened today that has never happened before; a comment that I wrote was so stupid that it actually made me laugh.

So I thought to myself, "Self, you could get a post out of that!".  However I dismissed it out of hand, deciding that it was a bit light on substance and only went three lines, even though I did post this a while ago (you have no idea how hard that link was to find!). But then I thought "Hey what if I get a couple more?", to which I replied "Mate, you're a fucking genius!" So I grabbed a few more that I wrote in the last 24 hours (only the fresh stuff for you guys).

These were all written before I wrote the funny one, so it's not a setup. I'm not going to say which one made me laugh, we all have a different sense of humour. The upshot is that now you get a chance to laugh at my stupid comments (not that I'm calling any of yours stupid), you also have the opportunity to make your own smart arse comments at my expense, just like I do with you. The links are only to the blog, not the actual post  (I'm too lazy for that), but seeing as all these were written in the last day or so, if you really need to put them in context you should be able to find the posts easy enough. (Fuck! I just wrote a book and I haven't even got to the point yet!)

Ok, here we go.....

Karmyn:
This is an issue I've had with MDW for years. She keeps trying to throw out my underwear, and I keep telling her they only smell like someone has died in them.

Marnie:
Boy you've really aged. And no, they weren't my genitals, my genital tattoos are are little strange so I rarely show them to friends, people in the street are another matter.

Jenni:
How romantic, you should be honored that your husband is reminded of you when he sees two turtles screwing.  Sadly, when I'm screwing my wife, I tend to think of turtles.

Melissa:
When I read "For you, I'm saving my pennies" I thought she must have forwarded you one of my emails, the one that caused her to block me from being able to send anymore. But then I realised there was an extra 'n' and an extraneous 'e', phew!. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that email...

Heather:
Wait, so are you saying you shouldn't give kids dog poo instead of play doh? Or are you saying you just shouldn't let them eat it?  I'm confused.

Little Miss Moi:
I find that farting while shaking hands generally leaves a lasting impression.

......So guys, have at it!

Whoa there Nellie.

Boy, you just never know what kind of a hornet's nest you going to stir up when you have a rant. Yesterday it seems that everyone took my post for the tongue in cheek bullshit that it was, that is everyone except one. Seems like I offended someone pretty bad, and obviously that wasn't my intention as the post was general in its content (on purpose). I'm obviously not going to name names, it's their business and theirs alone.

However, they took it to heart and wrote a blistering post attacking me personally, then thought better of it and deleted the post. But here's the thing, once you burn a feed, you also burn your bridges, and even though you may change your mind, the post has been sent out to all the aggregators. While the post was pretty vitriolic and somewhat insulting, it was not without reason and I took no offense. I'm not mentioning this for any reason other than as a cautionary tale to anyone who may do this in the future. Decide before you hit publish, not after.

But just so that we're all clear, I've been told on numerous occasions that we blog for ourselves and not necessarily for others to read. This is true to a certain extent, not totally  but close enough. So with this in mind, if anyone thinks I say things to rankle others, they are mistaken. I may write stuff to make people laugh, but I don't wrote to piss people off.

The good news is that I've got some new photos for my upcoming posts, and they are full of wonder and wholesomeness. The bad news is that I can't get them on to this computer. So everyone, just chill out and be kind to your fellow human beings, hell be kind to everything that inhabits the planet.